Receiving an apology from someone can be a difficult situation. Often, even if it’s genuine, we don’t accept the apology. Knowing how to respond to an apology you don’t accept can help put the situation into perspective. Here are some tips on how you can lovingly reject an apology and how to refuse to forgive.
Loving Rejection
When someone apologizes and you don’t accept it, you can still choose to respond in a loving way. It can help the other person feel seen, even if you don’t agree with what they’ve done. Start by thanking them for their apology and acknowledge their effort to make amends. Let them know you appreciate their willingness to own up to their mistake, as this is not always easy to do. Then explain why you don’t accept their apology, and why you don’t feel that it adequately addresses the situation. It’s okay to express your feelings in a gentle way that shows you’re still trying to keep the conversation respectful.
Refusing to Forgive
Forgiveness isn’t always the answer. It’s okay to refuse to forgive someone, especially if their apology isn’t genuine or doesn’t fully address the issue. You can still be kind and respectful in your refusal. Let the person know that you understand why they are apologizing, but that you’re not ready to forgive them just yet. You can explain that your trust in them needs to be restored and that you need more time to process everything. It’s also important to set boundaries if the person keeps making the same mistake. Make sure you clearly communicate that the behavior needs to stop.
It’s essential to be honest and direct when responding to an apology you don’t accept. Speak your truth in a respectful way and you will have no trouble expressing your feelings. Allowing yourself to lovingly reject an apology or refuse to forgive can help you stand up for yourself and help make sure the apology is genuine and meaningful next time.